I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My balls are so social today.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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