I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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