I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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