She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
