finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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