Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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