Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
