You made me cry and you don't even care
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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