Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
