theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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