So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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