youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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