I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
