thus making me awesome and them whores
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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