I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
