I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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