So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
