Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
