Your tits are I can't wait for
i was born a porn star she said
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need to calm my uterus...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
