careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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