Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
