can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
