you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
