either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I need a beard to bite.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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