On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
