opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
