I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
