Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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