I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
