I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
