you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
