**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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