His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Enjoy the penises
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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