:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
