What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
