It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
