I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
