Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
