where does the pee come out of this thing
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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