Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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