so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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