I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
