I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
