There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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