Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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