i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
