Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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