I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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