saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
