ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
