Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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