Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
