# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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