he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
