Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
