I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
