the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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