I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize