My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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