no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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