you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
