did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
