Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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