Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
