Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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