I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
