She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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